The Patient Pizza Patron

ByHal Hammons

When it comes to pizza places, some people like to stick with the tried and true; the more worldwide locations, the better.  Me, I always want to try something new, something local.  And thanks to my weakness for little children selling things door-to-door, I had a coupon for a place with a stellar reputation, located not far from the office.  Worth a shot.

The trouble is, “not far” meant about 20 minutes during rush hour.  In the opposite direction from my house.  So the pizza was pretty cold by the time we ate it.  It reheated fine, and we enjoyed it, but it was definitely not worth the extra time, effort and money.

I’m the forgiving sort, though — especially when the (alleged) offending party wasn’t really to blame.  I don’t want to pass judgment when there is reason to believe I did not get their “A game.”  So maybe I’ll give them another shot.  If I can find another coupon.  Hal Hammons, famous tightwad.  Remember me?

I hope people are patient with me when I am not at my best — my listeners and readers, my children, and particularly my extremely patient wife.  But I don’t want to trade on that patience.  I figure I owe it to them to be the best I can as often as I can, so they will be more likely to bear with me when I am not.  After all, being “above reproach” or “blameless,” as is required of elder candidates in 1 Timothy 3:2, does not mean they are always innocent or even that they are never charged with sin; rather, it speaks to the character of one to whom accusations do not easily stick.  If I live a “blameless” life, I am less likely to be blamed for things.

And it’s only fair that I extend the same patience to others that I hope to receive from them.  Love “bears all things, believes all things,” right?  If I truly love my neighbor (Leviticus 19:18) and brother (1 John 4:21), I will extend to him the benefit of the doubt — and not only when it is obvious to me that their bad days are just off days.

Ephesians 4:32 works in both directions.  Patient is as patient does.

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Like

ByHal Hammons

“Like,” for most English-speaking humans, means like.  I say that to clarify for those who may not be acquainted with the nuances of social media.  When you “like” your wife’s cooking, it may simply mean that you don’t want to eat Cheerios for dinner tomorrow night.  When you “like” your child’s latest painting, it may say speak more to your relationship with the child than it does the child’s artistic talent.  But usually, like means like.  And that’s especially true if, as with social media, you provide no context.

Biscuits

ByHal Hammons

In the latest installment of This Week on Facebook, I present a meme: “Just imagine how great life would be if biscuits and gravy made you skinny.”

       Well, sure.  But why stop there?  Let’s wish that video games increased our intelligence, or alcohol improved our driving, or pornography strengthened our marriages.  The only difference is, I’ve heard people actually argue the last three.  Not even kidding.

Here’s the report from planet earth, though: Good choices are frequently painful choices, and indulgent choices are rarely good choices.  I am no stoic, but I must decry the rampant hedonism in our culture that has been sold to us as a tonic for what ails us.

Medicine tastes bad.  Exercise hurts.  Work wears you out.  And yes, tragically, healthy food is less appetizing than fattening, artery-clogging food.  Frankly, we should be highly suspicious when someone tries to tell us different.

But we do have a tendency to believe “information” that supports our indulgences.  Most of my brethren who have tried to get around the clear teaching of Matthew 19:6 and Matthew 19:9, for instance, have a divorce and remarriage situation very close to home.  The truth does not always hurt, granted; however, it doesn’t become less truthful when it does hurt.

God’s word is truth (John 17:17).  Our current understanding of it may or may not be truth.  We owe it to ourselves to be honest — painfully honest.  If it means giving up a tasty morsel or two, so be it.

 

Receiving honor

ByHal Hammons

When Balaam stubbornly refused to curse the people of God, Balak was furious. He was prepared to pay Balaam big money — and judging from the number of meetings Balaam took with Balak, Balaam was more than willing to accommodate him.  But, as Balaam told Balak, that’s not the way inspiration works — “Did I not tell your messengers whom you had sent to me, saying, ‘Though Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not do anything contrary to the command of the LORD, either good or bad, of my own accord. What the LORD speaks, that I will speak’?” (Numbers 24:12-13).

Important

ByHal Hammons

A school shooting was foiled this week in the Chicago area.  A former student crashed a graduation practice and opened fire when a police officer confronted him.  The officer returned fire, and the incident was quelled.

“Nobody important was injured in the shooting.”  That’s a quote from the article I read, posted on an unapologetically pro-police website.

Riots

ByHal Hammons

People are odd.  There are places in this country where, when something horrible (as they define “horrible”) happens, riots break out.  In those same places, when something wonderful (as they define “wonderful”) happens, riots break out.  I’m starting to wonder if maybe there are people in this world who just like to set fires, break stuff and steal things.

 

Little things

Little things

ByHal Hammons

Parents tend to judge their parenting based on “big things.” By “big things,” I mean major events and accomplishments — getting the child baptized, getting them through college, getting them married well, keeping them off drugs, etc. But it has been my experience that “little things,” daily spiritual maintenance and life guidance, tend very strongly to lead to the “big things.”