Nerf

ByHal Hammons

A 9-year-old boy in Wales has lost an eye to a Nerf gun.  This is not the beginning of a joke.  This is the conclusion to a two-act tragedy.  It seems he lost sight in the eye because of an incident with a toy arrow when he was only 3; the second incident caused irreversible damage to the eye, forcing him to have it removed entirely or else risk losing sight in the second eye as well.

The mother, who is raising money through crowdfunding to get her son a more realistic prosthetic eye, says she doesn’t want people to think she is a bad mother.  I wonder why she would feel compelled to say that?

Reasons to Complain

ByHal Hammons

Having lived in the middle of SEC country for nearly seven years now, I thought I had seen the worst examples of “Can’t take L for an answer.”  But two New Orleans fans have taken it to a whole other level.  They are actually suing the NFL over the result of the NFC championship game, in which their beloved Saints lost to the Rams — in no small part because of an admittedly horrible non-call near the end of the game.

They want the commissioner of the NFL to do something about it.  Ideally, replay the entire game (or at least the last few minutes of regulation), or just flat-out reverse the game results.  Nothing unreasonable.

Football

ByHal Hammons

After spending five football seasons in the heart of SEC country, I have a few suggestions for my brethren.  I think they will give you a great deal of peace — and I guarantee they will give your brethren a great deal of peace.  And let me beat you to the punch by saying I have been accused of being “as bad as anyone,” so these points are as much for me as for you.

Firing

ByHal Hammons

What is with college football fans, media and administrations with regard to the firing of coaches?  It happened again recently, as Florida residents know.  Yet another coach let go before his contract expires — before Halloween, even.  You’d think no one had ever lost to their biggest rival by more than five touchdowns before.

I will confess to a bit of bias in the other direction.  It’s easy for me to wince a bit when a disgruntled population grows fed up with the status quo and lashes out at the one behind the microphone.  Been there, done that. 

Obnoxious

ByHal Hammons

My retreat from sports has been well documented.  I didn’t watch nearly as much football last year as in previous years, and I am sure I will watch even less this year.  That’s not a value judgment.  This is the value judgment coming up.  Brace yourselves.