A basketball player in Europe named D.J. Cooper was suspended last week.  He tested positive for pregnancy.  He.  Is pregnant.

This story is not going where you think it’s going.  Stick with me.


After watching the neighborhood kids playing basketball for a while, it occurs to me that the fate of the country will be in good hands if counting backward from five to zero turns out to be a vital skill.  If hitting shots is what’s important, well, maybe it’s time to look into bomb shelters.