Stories from the Road: Hotel Breakfast

ByHal Hammons

It was not the greatest hotel.  Stains on the furniture, elevator buttons that did not work, and an odd, indistinguishable smell in the hallways were enough to convince Tracie we would be staying elsewhere on our next trip to Houston.  For me, I tend to brush off such things when the price is discounted deeply enough and they give me a free hot breakfast.

        Ah, yes.  Breakfast.  Let’s talk about the breakfast.

The potatoes were gone.  The sparse smattering of eggs was dry and tasteless.  “Hot” might qualify as false advertising.  Even to the eye, it was clear the juice was watered down.  It might have been the worst meal I’ve ever been served that did not make me physically ill.

But my story only starts here.

Carob: The food of repentance

ByHal Hammons

Isaiah 1:20 provides a warning in the context of the more familiar phrase in verse 18 — “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow.”  If the nation would refuse to repent, God says, “you will be devoured by the sword.”  But one passage in the Midrash, a collection of rabbinic writings, translates it quite differently — “if you refuse and resist, carob pods you shall eat.”  James Moffatt apparently was quite impressed with this view of the text and rendered the verse accordingly in his translation, although every other Bible translation I could find reads essentially as the New American Standard Bible does.

Apology

ByHal Hammons

I have been cranky lately.  The circumstances of my life, although delightful in most ways, are not ideal.  And I have let that affect my attitude — precisely what I criticize others for doing.  I am not sure exactly how bad it has been, but I have enough humility, introspectiveness, and respect for others’ judgment to believe it has been considerably less than what it should be.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, obviously I would encourage you to ignore this paragraph.  If you do know, please accept my apology.

 

Are you suffering from MIsophonia? Call 1-800-GetOverIt

ByHal Hammons

If you are driven to distraction by the noise people make when they are eating, chewing gum, or just plain breathing, you may have misophonia — which is an actual mental condition, according to the ever-reliable internet.

You also may be a human being.

The distinction between the two seems to be a capacity for toleration.