There is a barber shop in India where they will set your hair on fire. On purpose, I mean. People ask for it. They douse your hair with fragrance to retard the smell of smoke (as if that were the main objection). Then they blowtorch you. The top of your head ignites. Flames shoot up, maybe six or eight inches. Then the barber just sits back there and combs and cuts, combs and cuts, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
So Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty, the famed and celebrated Bonnie and Clyde themselves, capped off the Oscars ceremony by announcing the wrong winner in the Best Picture category — surely a greater theft than any perpetrated by their real-life bank-robbing counterparts. And yet my biggest takeaway from the biggest television fiasco since Nipplegate at Super Bowl XXVIII is … I don’t care.