Pregnant

ByHal Hammons

A basketball player in Europe named D.J. Cooper was suspended last week.  He tested positive for pregnancy.  He.  Is pregnant.

        This story is not going where you think it’s going.  Stick with me.

        Part of latching on with a new team is passing a drug screen.  Evidently Mr. Cooper thought he would not pass, so he substituted his urine for that of his girlfriend.  And she, evidently, has a bun in the oven.  The hormones associated with that blessed event are running rampant through her body.  Including her excretory system.  Since men don’t have those hormones, the authorities determined he had falsified his test, so he got the boot.  It could not possibly have been his urine.

So I guess, in a way, the story was going where you thought after all.  Men are men.  Women are women.  We have certain similarities, and those similarities can be enhanced through a variety of processes — some mild, some drastic.  But we are, in the end, male and female.  Just like God made us (Genesis 1:27).  And there is nothing we can do to change that.  Nothing. 

The question is, why would we want to?

What is so outstanding about a man that a woman would want to become one?  And vice versa?  Each has his (or her) glories.  Each serves a purpose, both in the family (Ephesians 5:33) and in society at large.  Envying is counted among the deeds of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) and leads to “disorder and every evil thing” (James 3:16), and surely this must be the most pointless and self-destructive form of envy. 

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Tea

Tea

ByHal Hammons

Tea freezes at a temperature higher than 32 degrees Fahrenheit. At least, it seems to. I left a bottle of Snapple in my office refrigerator over the break. It was beneath the weird little “freezer compartment” but certainly not in it. It was at least an inch away from anything icy. And when I opened up the fridge, it was totally frozen. The lid had somehow detached itself to make room for the ice that had formed. (I wish I had video of that. Was it slow? Was it explosive? I digress.)

The truth we know

ByHal Hammons

Enough, already.

Enough judging a man in his 50s for an isolated incident, or even several of them, that may or may not have happened when he was a teenager.

Enough judging a woman for daring to have a smile on her face at some point in time when the most important thing in her life is her allegations of being assaulted.

Enough giving credence to everyone who supports our own preconceived values and principles.  Enough dismissing and/or excoriating everyone who opposes them.

War

ByHal Hammons

Hans Island is a half square mile rock, essentially, in the Kennedy Channel north of Baffin Bay, just northwest of the Greenland coast.  It lies directly on the border of the territorial waters of Greenland (which technically is still part of the kingdom of Denmark) and Canada.  The two nations have argued for decades about who actually owns the island.  In fact, they have been at “war” over it since 1984.

The nature of the “war” will explain the quotation marks. 

 

Biscuits

ByHal Hammons

In the latest installment of This Week on Facebook, I present a meme: “Just imagine how great life would be if biscuits and gravy made you skinny.”

       Well, sure.  But why stop there?  Let’s wish that video games increased our intelligence, or alcohol improved our driving, or pornography strengthened our marriages.  The only difference is, I’ve heard people actually argue the last three.  Not even kidding.

Here’s the report from planet earth, though: Good choices are frequently painful choices, and indulgent choices are rarely good choices.  I am no stoic, but I must decry the rampant hedonism in our culture that has been sold to us as a tonic for what ails us.

Medicine tastes bad.  Exercise hurts.  Work wears you out.  And yes, tragically, healthy food is less appetizing than fattening, artery-clogging food.  Frankly, we should be highly suspicious when someone tries to tell us different.

But we do have a tendency to believe “information” that supports our indulgences.  Most of my brethren who have tried to get around the clear teaching of Matthew 19:6 and Matthew 19:9, for instance, have a divorce and remarriage situation very close to home.  The truth does not always hurt, granted; however, it doesn’t become less truthful when it does hurt.

God’s word is truth (John 17:17).  Our current understanding of it may or may not be truth.  We owe it to ourselves to be honest — painfully honest.  If it means giving up a tasty morsel or two, so be it.

 

Togetherness

ByHal Hammons

It’s amazing how the Olympics brings people together.  An entire nation is rooting for the same team.  Longhorns and Aggies.  Wolverines and Buckeyes.  Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria.  But in a good way.

       But the closing ceremonies are a few hours away, as I type.  And after that, Kevin Durant and Carmelo Anthony will resume their NBA rivalry as though nothing had happened in Rio. 

Control

ByHal Hammons

If people can’t control their own emotions, then they have to start trying to control other people’s behavior.  That is a very profound truth (unfortunately, not original to me) regarding political correctness in particular and whining in general.  We convince ourselves that the problem is “out there” and  therefore someone else’s fault, someone else’s responsibility.  In truth, though, the problem — at least, the one relevant to the current circumstance — is “in here.”  Our own personal weaknesses, our own personal insecurities, our own personal failures.