Election Day ruminations

So what have we learned this week?  Take whatever self-serving message you wish out of the election with regard to sexist voters, private servers, fainting spells, FBI investigations, Islamophobia, and universal health care.  We can all agree on one thing — and in retrospect, we should have seen it coming: a terrible candidate with a strong campaign beats a terrible candidate with a terrible campaign.

       Hillary Clinton could never put together a coherent pitch for why she should be president that didn’t involve the word “ovaries.”  By and large, she didn’t try.  She thought she was entitled, and several million of our fellow Americans agreed with her.  But she had eight years to convince the rest of us she would make a good president, and she slept through the whole thing.  No “Hillary Doctrine” for peace in the Middle East.  No “Hillary Summit” to bring our troops safely home.  In fact, she was in the spotlight exactly twice: the “Russian reset,” and Benghazi.  And both were used like clubs for the last 12 months by the Republicans to show how unqualified she was.  It worked.  Did she really think undecided voters would throng to her because she told them how much she likes children?  Really?

       Donald Trump, on the other hand, had a message.  Strong defense.  Strong borders.  Keep jobs at home.  Lower taxes.  Repeal and replace Obamacare.  Those reasons didn’t work for everyone, but at least they were reasons. And they resonated with plenty of people, including Democrats.  Sure, some Rs stayed home or went third party.  Donald Trump is obnoxious, conceited, inconsistent and immoral.  But that didn’t drive them to the blue side of the aisle.  Who cares about such things and then goes out and votes for Hillary Clinton? 

       Somewhere today, Bernie Sanders is shaking his head over what could have been.

       Sanders would have beaten Trump.  Elizabeth Warren.  Martin O’Malley.  Julian Castro.  Bill de Blasio.  For months the Republican base whined about how they had nominated the only Republican who couldn’t beat Hillary Clinton; in reality, Hillary was the only Democrat who couldn’t beat Trump.  She was a horrible candidate nine years ago, she was a worse candidate 14 months ago, and ever since then she has done everything in her power to become an unelectable candidate — everything short of sacrificing a goat to Satan in downtown Pittsburgh.

       To borrow from your favorite former president, Mrs. Clinton, “Mission Accomplished.”

       I have said for weeks that I hoped Donald Trump would win the election; it gives him a chance to either prove me right or prove me wrong.  I firmly believe Trump is a huckster, an opportunist, a Wilson in Coolidge clothing.  I would love to eat my words in November 2020; mark me down for a “Make America Great Again AGAIN” hat right now.  For now I will be content with not having to watch Mrs. Clinton set fire to the Constitution in the public square, with all the Trumpkins berating me the whole time about “what might have been.”

       We’re praying for you, Mr. Trump.  Make us proud.