Unitaskers

Alton Brown, my favorite foodie, has a real attitude about what he calls “unitaskers” — that is, kitchen implements that serve only one function.  Strawberry slicers, rice cookers, countertop rotisseries, basically anything sold on late-night television — scrap them all.  The only unitasker you should have in your kitchen, he says, is a fire extinguisher.

It is the exception to the unitasker rule that I would like to address here. 

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Serve

Whenever I hear about a restaurant or other establishment that refuses to serve police officers, I always want to ask, “Do you expect them to serve you?”  After all, their service requires them to (at least potentially) put their very lives on the line for you.  The worst that can happen to you by serving them is getting a rotten tip.

It just seems reasonable.  When people put themselves out for you, you should be inclined to do the same for them. 

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Love Lifted Me!

Peter was an experienced fisherman. He had no doubt experienced many troubling waters in his life. But this particular storm was placed in context when he and the other disciples saw Jesus walking on the water. Peter had enough faith to recognize the Lord’s voice, and enough confidence to ask if he could walk out on the water to meet Him — and to do so when Jesus gave him permission. 

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Videos

OK, Hal has been watching videos on Facebook again.  Someone unplug his modem before he turns into one of those people who is always linking to clips of baby goats and puppies.  Anyway, this one was of a driver and would-be Sonic customer who seemed to have confused the concepts of drive-in and drive-thru.  

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Tantrums, getting your way, and Serena Williams

Serena Williams’ tantrum at the U.S. Open (that’s tennis, for sports fans only interested in a ball with points) was not her first by any means.  She has quite the track record, actually, of verbal abuse, court abuse, equipment abuse, and general abuse of principles of basic decency.

All of these incidents seem to have one thing in common: Serena was losing the match at the time of the incident.

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Back

Some of you are old enough to remember when a fried chicken dinner required not only a frying pan but also either kitchen shears or a big knife.  That’s right, back in our day chickens were purchased in grocery stores, not drive-thru windows.  And they looked pretty much like actual chickens, just without feathers, heads and feet.

When my mom served us fried chicken, she insisted on taking the back.  That’s a piece of chicken the Colonel doesn’t serve, of course.  But it’s there, right there with breasts, thighs and drumsticks.  I always thought she was “taking one for the team,” as mothers often do — leaving the choice pieces for the rest of us.  Now I’m starting to wonder if Mom was playing us.

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Imitation

One of my recent Bible acquisitions claims to have an “imitation leather” cover.  Well, I guess that’s right, as far as it goes.  It’s certainly not real leather.  But honestly, if I had not seen the words on the box, it never would have occurred to me that it might be leather.  It may as well have called itself imitation rubber, or imitation wool, or imitation cardboard.

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"Men, ... like trees walking"

Mark 8 includes an interesting postscript to the narrative of the feeding of the 4,000. Like Matthew, Mark follows the story immediately with the discussion among the disciples about not having any bread — ironic in the extreme, given the circumstances. After all, He had just provided an enormous amount of food with practically nothing to work with — for the second time!

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Piano

What does two hours of “worship piano” sound like?  I had to know.  After all, the all-knowing YouTube seems to have thought I would like it.

       And I did, I guess.  I love piano music.  Very relaxing, very melodic.  As good, at least, as the rain forest noises that accompany my typical Sunday afternoon nap.

I wouldn’t call it “worship,” though.  If you want to argue the piano player was “worshiping” during the performance, we can have that discussion another time.  But I certainly wasn’t worshiping.  I was listening.

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Get to work

For me, the toughest thing about cutting grass — by far — is putting on my shoes.  It seems illogical, but it’s true.  I will come up with any and every conceivable reason to not get out there and do what needs to be done.  Too hot.  Too wet.  Too tired.  Too busy.  Too many interesting videos on YouTube.

Once I get my shoes on, though, I’ll go.  And once I go, I’ll finish. 

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Short cuts

It’s time for another report from the Facebook links.  Really, one of these days I will quit watching these things.  But then again, if I did, where would I get ideas for this column?

Anyway, in this particular instance a woman was being interviewed by a TV reporter because she had difficulties while dropping her children off at school.  She was running late, so she decided to cut through an elementary school parking lot to get to another school in the neighborhood, driving around two traffic cones while doing so.  One schoolteacher was so upset at her actions that he literally threw himself onto the hood of her car.

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The a capella pattern

Advocates for a capella (or non-instrumental) music in worship frequently turn to Ephesians 5:19 and Colossians 3:16. Neither of these prohibits instruments in so many words; rather, they describe the actions of worshipful, thankful hearts as they address their Father to offer Him praise. That said, these and every other passage in the New Testament that refer to music in the assembly mentions and emphasizes singing. Instruments are not mentioned at all.

This constitutes a pattern.

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A few words on baptism

I could go on and on indefinitely regarding my brother in Christ and fellow Bible student Jesse Winn — particularly regarding some of the specific issues he raised recently regarding the things he has come to “believe” about faith in Jesus.  If anyone would like to discuss a particular point of interest with which I have not fully dealt, I will be more than happy to do so in a different forum.  I believe I have made my general points I have made about differences of doctrine within the body of Christ and how to deal with them.  I will limit my specific points regarding such differences to one specific: baptism.

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Control

If people can’t control their own emotions, then they have to start trying to control other people’s behavior.  That is a very profound truth (unfortunately, not original to me) regarding political correctness in particular and whining in general.  We convince ourselves that the problem is “out there” and  therefore someone else’s fault, someone else’s responsibility.  In truth, though, the problem — at least, the one relevant to the current circumstance — is “in here.”  Our own personal weaknesses, our own personal insecurities, our own personal failures.

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A few words about erring brethren

One of the oddest parts of my brief exchange with Bro. Jesse Winn, to which I have made considerable reference over the last few weeks, was something he said about me personally.  In my experience, “about me personally” is a prepositional phrase that is hardly ever a good thing in the context of brethren debating doctrinal differences.  But this was an exception.

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A few words about authority

In this space last week, I made you aware of my brief exchange with Bro. Jesse Winn, whose website article entitled “The Church of Christ: Some Thoughts on Change” has gotten a bit of play lately.  The article features 30 statements, each of then beginning with “I believe.”  They represent his current thinking on a variety of subjects ranging from church music to congregational oversight to the resurrection.  I do not have the inclination to respond fully to any of these points, let alone all of them. But I would like to address the tone of the article as a whole, and perhaps touch on a few specific points along the way.

 

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